Day 2

...Je pourrais faire sembler d'etre moi
Mais je ne serais pas vrai...

Astazi ma intorc la servici. Intr-un fel mi-a fost dor de cuibul meu de cuci... Voi face internari, voi vorbi cu oamenii astia tristi care vor retete impotriva durerii. Pentru ca stiu cum sa o fac sa treaca, cel putin pentru un timp. Voi semana cateva zambete... cateva mangaieri incurajatoare, voi asculta povesti, voi spune povesti. Uneori asta vindeca mai bine decat cocktail-ul de antidepresive, anxiolitice si ortotimizante. Uneori oamenii au nevoie doar de o poveste, acea poveste care sa reinnoade coarda care s-a rupt.
je ne serais pas vrai... Mais je suis un cameleon natif... je pourrais faire semnbler d'etre moi... d'etre joyeuse, solaire... ce soleil brut d'automne qui brille impudent au dessus ma folie, au dessus la masque arrogante que je tire sur mon angoisse... Mais je pourrais faire sembler d'etre moi, meme si je n'etais pas vrai.

Astazi vor veni vechi prieteni, noi prieteni la mine... Va fi cald intre noi si vom rade. Vom imparti vinul rosu, vom juca jocuri sub privirea lui Roun care de sus, de pe peretele meu, inca ma mai intreaba daca va reusi sa salveze lumea. Nici eu nu stiu... dar prietenilor mei le voi zice ca o va salva, in capitolul 18... si ca Lamar il va parasi si-l va lasa sa moara singur. Mais je ne serais pas vrai... Chiar nu stiu ce se va intampla mai departe.

Ca in toate, ma multumesc sa nu stiu. Parce-que je confie en Toi...





Ei bine, e deja ora 3... nu m-am dus la servici pt ca ma paste pneumonia. Da tarcoale prin fata usii si asteapta sa ies din casa ca sa ma atace. N-o sa-i dau satisfactie.
Sister are de facut un eseu despre speranta. "Cine nu mai spera, nu poate fi fericit." Si ma intreb... sper? Ce sper? Dar oare chiar mai sper? Pentru ca in mine e-un fel de vid in forma de speranta pe care-l acopar cu rochii de seara, carti de joc, cuvinte, bilete de avion, lucruri pe care le fac... pe care nu le fac.

Daca nu speri, nu poti fi fericit... da... pentru ca fericirea nu e atat scopul implinit cat drumul indarjit, lupta, raza care se intrevede dincolo de culmea pe care ma stradui s-o urc. Da, fericirea nu e in patul cald al unui han, ci in luminile sale firave care incep sa palpaie in intunericul noptii. Fericirea nu este portul cunoscut ci clipirea linistitoare a farului care iti arata ca drumul e bun. Fericirea e pavata cu pietre mici si rotunde. Una din ele e un glas familiar, alta o lumina calda, alta o imbratisare, alta un vis. Fericirea e-un drum... iar ceea ce ne face sa-l umblam e speranta ca la sfarsitul sau vom atinge orizontul cu degetele noastre de carne si-l vom putea infasura in jurul incheieturii mainii, ca pe-o bratara. Ceea ce ne indeamna sa ne umblam fericirea e speranta ca orizontul e din aceeasi plamada cu noi, sau ca noi suntem facuti din stofa de orizont. Ca transcedem. Ca suntem fapturi nemuritoare. Pentru ca altfel, in fata drumului frumos,pavat cu bucurii si contraste,am ramane orbi si muti... am ridica fericirea in palme si n-am sti ce sa facem cu ea. Nu i-am intelege rostul in lume. Speranta ne-nvata sa pasim pietrele netede si luminoase ale fericirii, lasandu-ne sandalele sa se bucure de atingerea lor. Pentru ca speranta ne da sens.Iar fara sens nu este fericire.


Si, Doamne, stiu ce ar trebui sa simt, ce ar trebui sa fac... stiu toate raspunsurile la intrebarile pour-quoi?, pour-qui?, comment?... si totusi... Tu, pastratorul raspunsurilor... ajuta-ma!

Day 1

chestionare... ocupatii... carrefour... cafea... pills... my new green eyes... invisible... zambete extravagante si debit verbal crescut...
Rad! Vorbesc cu oameni necunoscuti! Musc din coaja crocanta a painii de la brutaria din hala... Scot bani de pe card. Fac liste... In curand nu voi mai fi aici. Am sa ma plimb pe coasta albastra din Axe en Provence cu Irinuca, am sa privesc soarele mediteranean cu zambetul meu extravagant care predispune la riduri de expresie.
Sister a facut ieri operatie... nu poate vorbi. No problem, vorbesc cat pentru amandoua... mult, nefiresc de mult si de repede. Lucrurile simple ale zilei se aduna unele peste altele... trebuie sa fie cat mai multe... mormane de lucruri. Munca, mers, scari de urcat, cumparaturi, vorbe, zambete inghetate, internet, informatii, verbe... trupul meu care reinvata sa fie de carne. Prieteni vechi. world of warcraft. Si sambata nunta lui Paul... unde voi manca doar fructe si voi privi indraznet de la inaltimea rochiei mele superbe. Inca nu vreau sa vorbesc cu mine. De aceea vorbesc mult cu toti ceilalti. Prieteni vechi...
Day 1... Day1...

Remember Vam, remember Vihta...

In cetatea vanata, cea de departe
cea din ostrovul tainic in care
Ormag se certase odata cu Dumvur,
in cetatea vanata noi ne iubeam
in fiecare zi sub alt adapost.
Si dragostea noastra imbolnavea cetatea
si zidurile se faceau rosii
de febra, de sangele crud
al sarutului.
O, tu, Ormag, zeu cu chipul de ceata!
Zeu aspru si vanat... Ormag,
si numele tau e Spaima...
Peste noi apasa Ormag,in cetate
cu zidurile ei ne strange,
cu numele lui apasa pe umerii nostri,
sa nu ni se ridice talpile
de pe pamant,
cum faceau oamenii aurii de odinioara
cand Vihta zbura libera-ntre ei
si doua cate doua cosea inimile
prin muscatura ei.
Taci Ormag, taci... Ochii nostri
nu mai poarta pecetea fumului
ridicat din jertfelnice...
Taci... caci rosii sunt zidurile
cetatii tale... rosii, ca sangele,
ca iubirea,
si jertfa noastra e-o aripa vie
spre Cel in care Spaima
nu are un nume!



Poate astazi voi taia firele
lungi, de iarba
pe care le-am sadit cu-n capat in inima mea
cu celalalt in pieptul tau.
E vremea sa cosim iarba…
s-o adunam in siruri
si s-o lasam in soare.
Toamna cea dulce o va inmiresma cu miresme
de moarte, de vis, de uitare,
tu vei dansa liber sub cerul tarziu
peste campurile salbatice
sau poate vei plange
de dorul ierbii…
Eu voi astepta in tacere
dansul tau… suspinul tau…
Ma voi face nevazuta ca o zana de aer
nu voi mai semana in tine nimic,
nici cuvinte
nici zboruri
pana ce tu nu vei arunca in vazduhul
in care m-ai stins
semintele tinere
ca o ofranda.

Chapter VII – Life or Death

Lamar fell down, down, and her falling seemed to never get to an end. A hungry gloom drained her being, dragging her more and more into the nothingness. She felt her soul rarefying, her memories fading away, her self reduced to a paralyzing fear of death, of disappearance. And she understood she was dying, she felt the tentacles of the Abyss getting through her body, invading her blood. It was cold… evil… dark, inconceivably dark, like the essence of darkness itself was calling for her.
Then she seemed to loose the passing of time, as she was also loosing the passing of herself.
Then everything stopped.
Then came a voice, soft, unknown, calling her name.
“I died”, she thought “So this is how it feels…It’s calling for me now…” Another voice she heard, somehow familiar, but she had no time to figure it out as she started again her endless fall to the depth.
Roun watched over her, holding her head and wiping away the beads of sweat on her brow. Astara has justfinished preparing another portion of the Mardar liquor and was ready to pour it into Lamar’s throat. Yet she stopped at the sight of Roun holding her. She saw something there, something she never saw before in her friend. And that something pierced her heart like a knife.
-Here’s the potion she said… and met a bitter pain in Roun’s eyes.
-She’s dying, Astara…
-It’s a strange wound… It’s not her body that was harmed the most. The sore is much deeper…
-She’s dying…
Astara stepped back, watching Roun grieving over the shivering body he held in his arms. There was another way… Roun knew it, but he dared not ask her. It was the kun-tlad. But nobody tried to do a kun-tlad for a human. Even between Elves this was dangerous and terrifying. And Lamar… she was a stranger, a human… and more than that, she was the woman Roun held with sorrow, with a grief that burnt her soul to ashes.
-Roun, let her go now… We did everything we could. She’s a warrior… Let her death dignify her.
-I can’t let her die… I can’t Astara…
-We have to go. There may be more of those murbs coming for us. There’s nothing we can do now… She’s fading…
-Astara… there’s something I can do… I’ll tell you the words…You’ll cast the incantation… I’ll be the tlad.
-Kun-tlad? Are you out of your mind? I can’t cast even the simplest spell… I’m not a magic user… I never said a word of magic in my life!!! This is suicide… You stand no chance.
-It’s her only chance!
-She’s just a human! And you’ll surely die. Even for experienced mages this is difficult. Even between Elves… And you… ask me, a total outsider, to cast a Kun-tlad?
-If we get it right, she might live.
-Yes, she might, but we don’t know that, do we? Nobody tried to do it with a human. And I’m not a mage. You’d both die… This is out of the question!!! I won’t do it! Mighty Demius, she’s a complete stranger, a human!
Roun had nothing to reply, but Astara understood.
-You… you care for her, don’t you? You love her… Are you ready to go to almost certain death for her sake?
-Yes, Astara… try to understand… I, myself, don’t understand it completely… I just know I can’t let her die.
-You are… unbelievable…
Look, Roun, this is stupid. I can’t cast a Kun-tlad. But you can. I’ll be the tlad.
-No, you can’t.
-You’re a good mage. I’m young. I may be compatible, although…mighty Demius… she’s human… I know what this means, Roun… but at least we stand a chance.
-I can’t let you do that.
-Then she’ll die… ‘Cause I won’t cast no stupid spell… I’m a katara fighter, not a mage. Think about my offer. And fast, before I change my mind.
-Are you sure, Astara?
-Yes, but remember… I’m not doing it for her… I’m doing it for you.
Kun-tlad was an ancient healing practice only known to the Elves. But even so, it was rarely performed since it assumed a transfer of vital energy from the tlad to the wounded one. The practice was painful and dangerous for both the mage who performed it and especially for the tlad. Years of the tlad’s life were sacrificed in this ritual. The energy flux drained the tlad, who might even die during the casting of the incantations. Astara knew it, she knew it well… yet she was decided to do it.
-Rivnerak rogus trebirad kun!
Roun commenced the incantation and Astara felt her life draining away. A flux of bright light entered Roun’s right hand, passed through his arm and chest and got out of his left hand embracing Lamar’s body.
An excruciating pain burnt Roun’s chest. He knew that was only a small shadow of the pain Astara had to endure. He saw her body crouching in pain. But he could not stop. Not until the incantation was complete. The pain melted his mind… it became so difficult to find the right words. But he had to endure; he had to finish it right.
-Ruc gnosravid gnorami hastlad… he whispered the last words… and let his tortured body fell to the ground. He tried to meet Astara’s eyes. She was pale, a feverish look tormented by pain.
-Are you alright, he asked.
-I’m alive… I thought I won’t make it… I never felt such pain in my life…
-I’m sorry…I’m so sorry…
-It over now… Go and see her… I hope it was worthy…
Roun crawled next to Lamar’s body. The fever was gone.
-Lamar, he whispered… Lamar…
She opened her sharp, silver eyes and looked at him. Then fell into a deep, healing sleep.
Lemalian was sad and confused. Nobody seemed to ever hear about a warrior called Wuu… and those very few who remembered something about some kind of legendary hero, looked at him in pity as if he spoke the words of a mad man. And he saw it himself. It was not appropriate for an Elf warrior of his class to speak like a fool and hunt fairytales. Yet… he remembered Delay’s words, her frozen touch that pierced his whole being and gave him chills. Yet, it was not fear he felt, but worry. He had to find a way to stop the avalanche of terrible events that was about to commence. He had to prevent a war more destructive than a small concussion between Elves and humans. He had to prevent the unleashing of Chaos into the world. And that strange Wuu… was nowhere to be found.
On the other hand, finding Wuu was not his only problem. He also had to find solid arguments to convince the Thas’thali not to grant free passing to the human armies in the forbidden lands of Palinesti. And somehow, this seemed even more difficult than chasing a shadow.

to be continued...

Time

Nu cade...nu cade...
Si totusi pe marginea subtire,
ca un fir de otel,
ca taisul ascutit al unei sabii,
bila rosie a inimii mele
se rostogoleste incet.
Ea crede ca nu va cadea...
Ea crede ca nu se va sparge in sarutul fatal
al taranei.
Ea crede ca e facuta sa bata din aripi
nevazute de nici un alt ochi
decat de ochiul ei mare, rosu,
din care porneste aorta.
Ea crede ca e pasare,
nu inima... si nu cade...
Iar eu o cred... e pasare,
nu inima. O pasare ciudata,
rotunda, rosie, fara de aripi,
care se rostogoleste increzatoare
pe taisul subtire si ascutit
al unei sabii.


Si stiu ca timpul va matura cenusa,
va roade carnea putreda a sentimentelor
pana va lasa in soare,
albe si stralucitoare,
oasele lor.
Iar eu voi veni si le voi strange,
dulci oase albe, ca niste idoli pagani,
le voi legana in leaganul pieptului meu,
le voi canta
si le voi spune povesti;
pana vor incepe sa zambeasca, sa umble,
pana cand albe si zvelte,
ca niste zeite solare,
vor ridica spre cer strigatul lor,
vor dansa dansul victorios,
neprihanit,
al iubirii...


Sa nu ucizi! Sa nu versi sangele pur
al iubirii.
Sa nu stingi miracolul
in leaganul sau de prunc.
Sa nu infingi acest pumnal de argint
pe care astazi ti l-am pus in mana
in inima mea.
O, daca ochii tai sunt inca
acoperiti de cenusa... daca buzele tale
sunt inca pecetluite de cuvinte trecute,
daca inima ta e inca inchisa
in temeri vechi si-n nelinisti,
totusi, te rog, nu infinge acest pumnal de argint
in trupul firav al iubirii.

Counting...

Numar orele... inca 6...ore...vesnicii...nerabdari, disperare, neputinta, groaza, esec, sau poate faptura aceea cu aripi firave, poate faptura aceea care n-a izbutit sa iasa din cutia Pandorei... Si astept ca din marele Lui necunoscut sa rasara solutia, drumul, lumina. Astept ca in ciuda tuturor aparentelor, impotriva oricarei nadejdi, promisiunea Sa sa sparga cliseele realitatii. O va face oare? din acest intuneric vor razbi luminile unui han... sau se va-nchega poate mai mult aceeasi bezna... pana cand talpile mele vor invata pietrele... pana cand ochii mei vor invata sa nu mai caute... pana cand inima mea va invata sa se plece...
In drumul acesta sunt cu Tine... si Tu nu zambesti... Tu ma lasi sa gust din pahare otravite si-apoi imi arzi sangele si ma ridici din nou. Pentru ca-n acest foc ma voi mistui pana la chipul pe care Tu-l cauti in mine. Focul Tau... care arde si preface-n cenusa jertfa muntelui Carmel... Jertfa Ta... inima mea care arde pana la miezul ei de otel, in care Te vei oglindi la sfarsit... din care-Mi vei zambi...
Si zambetul Tau va flutura glorios peste fericirea sau peste ruinele din Neverland...

Today I sleep

Ma dezbrac de mine si ma las in urma
Pe carari intunecate am umblat atata timp;
trupul acesta a obosit de moarte,
drumurile i-au rupt sandalele,
i-au zdrentuit visele,
i-au insangerat urmele.
Acum adoarme incet,
cu un zambet...
Chilie parasita, de piatra,
colivie din care pasarea a zburat,
trecut intens si fara cuvinte...

Si totusi muscatura de foc a Vihtei
inca mai arde.

To Lemalian, with sorrow...

In fiecare fruct zace samanta putrezirii. In fiecare bucurie amenintarea dezastrului. Este sange in lume. Sangele rosu al toamnei... sangele cald al jertfelor, sangele negru al alegerilor pe care nu le vrei, pe care nu le poti privi si de care totusi esti ales.
Este sange care striga pe strazi si-o neputinta care striga in aer. Este tristete si zbucium si sentimentul ciudat ca e mereu tarziu in lume, prea tarziu. Si toamna isi trage cortinele peste un teatru absurd... nici actorii nu-si mai stiu rolurile pe dinafara. Nu stiu ca de data aceasta sabiile si-au schimbat varful de lemn cu un tais ascutit, veninos... Nu stiu ca piesa a ramas nescrisa si c-o vor scrie chiar ei, cu sangele lor, cu viata lor, cu revoltele lor surpate. They smile... pentru ca nu stiu ca au fost deja alesi de mersul jocului, fara sa fi fost intrebati, fara sa li se fi citit scenariul... se vor iubi, se vor ucide, vor infinge lungi ghimpi unii intr-altii si se vor mira de mirosul sangelui... (pare atat de real!!)
Nu vreau sa fac ce fac! Nu pot sa fac altfel! Poate ar trebui sa ma opresc din joc, sa ma dau jos de pe scena si sa m-asez in genunchi... sa tac... sa ma sterg cu o radiera buna... s-adorm... sa nu fiu...
Si mainile mele sunt patate de sange... nici o apa nu-l mai poate stinge... nici o radiera nu-l va sterge vreodata...
E sange in lume... durere... sper sa mai poata fi si altceva.

La fel...

Si inventam cuvinte
si le aruncam in vazduh
si ca o ploaie de aur ne imbracau
cuvintele simple ale iubirii
cuvintele-ntortocheate ale vrajilor mele
ale vrajilor tale.
Si adunam cuvintele-n versuri
pe care le uitam dimineata
risipeam in jur fericire
rosie, ca sangele rodiilor,
risipeam sarutari si bucati de gand
si fire stravezii care ne legau
unul de celalalt
din ce in ce mai strans,
pana cand ajungeam atat de la fel
incat nici chiar noi nu mai stiam
care e unul... care e celalalt.

Poze vechi...

Cat de stranii sunt zilele astea... cat de ciudat e ca oameni pe care-i iubesti sa se topeasca, sa dispara pur si simplu... E mai mult o uimire decat o durere. Ca si cum moartea nu ar sta in firea lucrurilor. I miss you, mother...

Chapter VI - Roun’s combat skills

The inn grew quite as the night deepened over the valley. Dreams and stories were silenced in the cozy darkness of the sheets. The fire quenched in the stove, and the heavy old floors ceased to creak under the steps of the guests. The inn was sleeping… the beautiful valley fell asleep too… even the small spring behind the walls softened down its purl.
Yet, in her room, Lamar stayed awake.
“Maybe I shouldn’t… she thought to herself… he’s inexperienced and we would be an easy kill. Still… he could slow them down and I would have enough time to sneak to the boarder.” Her face darkened and a deep line appeared between her eyebrows.
“He’s still innocent… and he would most certainly… die…” But she was a warrior… she had seen death too many times to consider it an impediment. “Well… every noble cause has its collaterals…” and she smoothly got out of bed, holding a small silver knife in her hand. She searched for something in the folds of her coat and took a gray pouch that she carefully opened. There was some kind of red powder in it. She took some in the left fistand hurried to the door. Thanked to the careful inn keeper, the door was recently oiled and made no sound when Lamar strained out in the corridor. Her thin silhouette glided silently through the darkness. She stopped before a door, drawing her ear near and listening carefully… than she chose another… Behind it she could barely hear the strange sound of that bird language she heard earlier in the night. “Here it comes…” she whispered. And she let a small round stone to roll over the corridor. It made a low, stifled noise that could very well pass unobserved… Yet, the voices behind the door suddenly fainted. Lamar sticked to the wall in silence. She waited. The creak of a wooden chair… soft steps on the floor… and the door opened slowly, allowing a hooded head to appear behind it. Lamar knew she had only one instant to act before she would lose the element of surprise. Moving as fast as a snake striking its prey, she thrusted the silver knife in the creature’s throat. A sharp whistling came from under the hood and gray, latescent smoke started to spread around, changing bizarre, terrifying forms, continuously shifting, trying to find the aggressor in the darkness. She knew she had no time to waste.
-Lanak fidga gru! She murmured and threw some of the red powder in the air. The smoke creature fell down…
-Lanak fidga gru! She said again throwing the rest of the red dust into the room. She stopped to listen. There was no sound to be heard in the whole inn. She entered precautiously, noticing the other hooded creatures fallen down on the floor, caught into a magic sleep.
-Good, she said. Now… where is it?
She didn’t have to look too much. The silver moon, Solinari, sent a ray through the window, lighting a piece of metal, darkened by time, shaped in the form of old runes. Lamar picked it up and disappeared.


-Wake up! Now!
Roun jumped out of his bed, driving away the mists of unconsciousness that were still dimming his mind.
-What happened? Lamar??? What are you doing here?
-Get your things ready and let’s get out of here! Now, Roun! If you care for your life!
Roun had not much to take. In a minute he was ready to go.
-What happened?
-I’ll tell you on the way. Now hurry! You might get the occasion to show me some of your magic tricks.
Roun would have liked to ask more or at least to get some decent explanation from Lamar but he subdued to her severe expression as he understood her weird behavior hid even weirder and dangerous matters.
They got their horses and rapidly faded away, fallowing the narrow road to the mountains, Lamar insisted to take. It was the shortest way to the boarder but it was also hard and mischievous. Once again, Roun chose to respect her decision.
They were riding fast and Lamar was often looking back to check for unwanted company.
-You should tell me now what’s going on!
-Listen, we may have bad company, and this pretty soon, I’m afraid. The shadows are rising up and they’ll surely try to track our trail. The sky was cloudy all night long but it didn’t rain… so they’ll get to us… it’s only a matter of time. You’d better review those combat spells you said you were good at as we’ll soon need some magical protection, my friend!
-What’s going on, Lamar?
-I told you all you needed to know. In fact, the less you understand of all this, the safer you are, if any of us can be safe now…
-I’ve listened to all your strange ideas without questioning you. Now it’s high time to give me some insight on what’s really happening, or we go our separate ways right now, my lady!
-You didn’t get it right, you, stubborn Elf! There are no separate ways. We have to stick together or we stand no chance. They’re coming for you too…
-Who are they? How do I know I can trust you?
-You have no other choice!
-Really? Then watch me leaving… said Roun and bridled his horse.
Lamar turned around in fury, caught the reins of Roun’s horse and dragged it back. Flashing with anger she whispered sharply in Roun’s ear.
-Listen carefully… I could kill you without blinking right now… because this would happen anyway if you turned back. They have no mercy… they’d even enjoy it…And I won’t get my hands dirty with your noble Elven blood, not even by letting you commit this stupid suicide. Do you understand?
I took something from them… They aren’t humans, or Elves, or any other race you might have heard about on Atri. They’re something else… they seed fear in their victims’ mind that drives them mad… And they kill… they feed with pain.
-What are they?
-They’re not alive… yet they’re not dead… They keep their spirits no more, as they are doomed. They are mirrors, mirrors of Rubshi that haunt these lands… they feel her eagerness and disquiet. They feel the time is coming…
-Murbs… I thought these were legends…
-Legends are starting to wake up these days, my friend. You wouldn’t wanna know…
-What’s that you took from them?
-That is not your business.
-It is, since they are coming from both of us, since you need my help to keep them away, since…
-Watch out!!! Shouted Lamar.
Roun barely had the time to turn. A giant, hazy spider flew in the air coming straight towards Roun’s head. Instinctively he threw himself down to the ground. The spider missed its target. Laying on his back, Roun started to murmur a freezing spell. An icy bolt hit the spider who was preparing to attack again. Its joints cracked as it was trying to shift his form. But the frozen ties let it not change.
-You will no longer bother us, shouted Lamar and thrusted her sword deep into the creature’s body.
The spider screamed… a scream that came not from this world. Roun felt his blood growing cold. An ashy haze rose from its corpse, wrapping Lamar’s sword, climbing her gloved hand in a deadly embrace.
-Let it go, shouted Roun! But it was already too late. He saw Lamar’s look filled with terror.
-Help me! She cried…But the cry fainted and her eyes started to lose their expression. The fear melted in a blank, glassy look. She was stoned by the beast feeding from her vital energy.
Roun searched his mind for a spell… murmured its words and hit the giant spider. The magic grew in his blood, singing, scaling his mind, demanding… Words melted in his soul, magic embraced him, caressed him, followed his desires. Spells flew over and over hitting their target until there was nothing left of it. He felt again that voluptuous joy from the day of his test. He felt the wolf getting wind of the kill. And the kill was there… the murb turned into ashes, swept off by the wind. The song of magic grew softer, as he came back from his trance. Lamar’s body lay near the small pile of ashes. She was breathing.
-Lamar… He caught her body in his arms. Lamar…
-There will be more…
-Can you stand?
-I… I…think… you should take this… and she gently slipped into his hand the iron artifact she stole from the murbs. And go…
-I can’t let you here…
-Stubborn Elf… I matter little right now. Just go…
This was the one I stabbed at the inn. It had enough time to feel me, to sniff me… that’s why it got me now… it already knew…
-Lamar…
-The others will come… Just go… They probably won’t waste much time killing me…I’d die anyway…go…
But the Elf was indeed stubborn… and more than that, he was very young, his mind still filled with heroic dreams and caught in some sort of warm feeling he didn’t completely understand.
-I won’t leave you.
-Then you’ll die… And they’ll win…
Roun started to prepare the place for what he thought would be a confrontation. He put magical traps all around, surrounded their small camp with protective spells, placed a melting shadow curtain in the way and then he looked for a secluded hiding to cast his spells from. And he waited.
Lamar was shivering with fever… she was whispering delirious words… from time to time she fainted, giving Roun heart quakes. Finally, she fell into a strange state, like a deep, unhealthy sleep, on the edge of death. His heart full of hatred, Roun waited.
And they appeared… Dark, hooded silhouettes, coming with the dawn.
His spells were effective. They slowed them down allowing Roun to cast and hit them. Yet, they were getting closer. They were too many… He couldn’t focus on one of them…
The magic sang, grew, poisoned his blood with sweet venom. The spells were hitting his opponents, yet, there were not usual opponents he was fighting. The mirrors they carried instead of their spirits were hard to break. “Let me do it for you…” the words whispered in his mind. “ Let me grow in your veins like the waves of the ocean”, cried the magic… Roun felt the joy, the hunger of the wolf… “Let us be one… Let us be most powerful… Let us bend the rules of the world…” The spells grew in power and two of the murbs turned to ashes. Yet the third one was much too close.
“Let us be one” sang the words while rearranging into a new spell… “Let us bend the universe…”
-I can’t… I must rule over you…
“Let us become everything…let us live… you need…”
-No! He shouted… And the words faded again, as they did before…long before…
Roun felt exhausted. There was not enough strength in him to cast another word of magic. Yet he tried to articulate the soft and mysterious language of power… But the murb was already near him, taking the form of a three headed snake, their jaws largely opened to bite. Roun’s last spell hit it, covering it in bright flames. Yet the snake didn’t turn to ashes.
-They won, he though, waiting for the bite to come…
But suddenly the snake screamed, contorted and vanished into the morning wind. Behind the ash pile he saw a crooked, most familiar smile…
-Magic looser…


-I just know what you’re going to say, Astara. That you’d give all the magic in the world for a good katara blow.
-My point exactly. And I hope the next time you try to make fun of my katara you’ll just remember it saved your life!
-And I’m most grateful for that… Lamar… Look, you have to help me… She’s badly wounded.
-Who is she? Mighty Demius… she’s human… What’s that on her hand? I’ve never seen something like this in my whole life!
-It’s a murb touch. It’s poisoning her…
-Murb? What’s a murb?
-That creature you helped me kill… That’s a murb…
-Mighty Demius… giant snakes? I never thought such beasts lived in Elven lands.
-They’re more than beasts, Astara… They walk among us… They feed with pain and fear. They mirror Rubshi’s essence of death… They desire nothing except destruction. Legends, Astara, terrifying legends are awakening…
-You scare me…
-You should be scared… Wait a minute… You shouldn’t be here at all… How did you find us?
-That’s a quite simple story… Still, we should take care first of your friend right here… Could you find some Gordore roots for me? I’d also need some fresh water and vispus leaves if you find some…
-I’ll do my best, Astara… You still know the right recipe for the Mardar healing potion, don’t you?
-Of course, my friend… Someone had to learn the healing components while you only exercised the incantations…
-Astara… You are a most cherished treasure… I don’t know what I would have done without you.
-You’d be dead. Literally. My components, please!

My recording session:)

Am o varianta ciudata de proshow asa ca a trebuit sa port blestemul benzii portocalii...Enjoy!

The shadow chaser

the shadow chaser got lost
the star hunter has drowned
in their holy blood...
I forgot how to step on waters
and my boat is far... far away...

The Inn

Te strig si te caut
si-n orasul meu cu o singura culoare
am nevoie de tine...
Cu nenascute cuvinte alerg,
cu urlete-n piept te urmaresc,
cu pene legate de brate m-arunc de pe stanci,
invat sa zbor...
De tacerea ta ma lovesc,
din nou si din nou!
Trupul meu zdrobit, primeste-l!
Gandul meu invins, adoarme-l!
In drumul meu bantuiut, arata-te,
ca un han care sa ma primeasca
in inima lui calda
cu o cana de vin si
un hohot de ras...

Chapter V - Elves and humans

Roun's way across the Elven lands was long and tiring, but alleviated by the kind hospitality of Elves, even more punctilious considering Roun's noble blood. He had enough gold peaces to pay for his bed and food but his money were constantly refused in all the Elven inns, being treated as an honored guest rather than a client. Roun knew he was going to miss the warmness, the comfort and the beauty of the Elven lands. Soon, he’d enter the human territories, very soon. And a new, different world would open to his eyes: A strange world, populated by those even stranger creatures of Norbus, the humans.
Humans were different from all the other species on Atri. You just couldn’t tell what they were after. They couldn’t be trusted. Roun was strongly advised not to count on any of them since they always seemed to have their own agenda.
-Like all of us, whispered Roun to himself…
His way in Elven territories got close to its end. He was about to enter Palinesti, the most Southern of the Elven territories and already started to feel sorry he was traveling alone. He needed a rested horse, victuals for the rest of the journey but most of all he felt he could use a companion to share the coldness of the nights and the watch hours with. Human lands were not a safe place to sleep unguarded and Roun knew that he had enough money and precious objects to tempt a horde of human thieves. Silently, a red crepuscule invaded the sky pointing in the horizon the dark silhouettes of the woods of Palinesti. The closest inn should be 6-7 hours far, so he could get there before dawn and even catch a little sleep after a glass of that Elven Golden wine that made Palinesti vineyards so famous.
The red fire started to fade in the sky, as Demius’ heart traveled along to shine into the darkness of other lands. Mists started to rise from the heated ground, making the shadows appear more alive, more mysterious. It was a time of illusions and Roun thought his magic was just like that hour… using his will to shadow the world.
-Greetings to you, traveler! Forgive me if I disturbed your thoughts…
-Greetings, my lady. How should I be of help? I see you’re traveling alone…
-I am indeed. And I got lost. I’m looking for the Inn of Purple Rose. I dared to ask no stranger since these are dangerous times for a woman alone. But there will be dark soon. And you, traveler, seem to be of noble blood.
It was only than that Roun noticed the woman he spoke to was human, not Elven. Her long copper hair was covering her ears, gentle curls framing her strong, well defined features. She was wearing a gray cloak but Roun still figured she was not wearing a dress, but leather cloth, flexible, yet providing good protection against side arms. Roun was surprised to meet a human girl there, but immediately realized they were pretty close to the boarder by now.
-You’re stepping into Elven lands. You must not be afraid. We are kind and respectful people, my lady.
-You must come from far away, my lord. Palinesti might be Elven in the vineyards. These are mixture lands. You may encounter many surprises on your way. Especially in the time of the night…
-Well lady… You may join me, if you please. I’m also going to spend the night at the Purple Rose. And I can vouch for no Elf would even try to harm you on our way.
-Elves weren’t exactly what I feared. But I’ll accept your kind offer. It’s a great honor for me to travel by your side, my lord.
What is your name? And, tell me, are you from the North? Your cloths look so different from what I’ve seen Elves wear around here.
-My name is Roun. I come from Qualinesti.
-So I was right. You’re from the North. These are true Elven lands, aren’t they? I wish I could see them… rumors say their beauty is hard to imagine…or to forget…
-Yes, Qualinesti is indeed very beautiful. But I can assure you, these are also Elven territories and I believe there are lots of prodigious places here, too. Elves can’t live without order… and beauty. This is the way we are.
-Well, I hope you won’t be too disappointed in the morning, my lord. Still, the wine is incredibly good.
-You don’t seem too delighted with what you’ve seen around, my lady.
-Well, I’m not. It’s a motley crowd swarming around… Elves, yes, but not very many… trying to stand for their ways in front of a mixture of humans, dwarves, gnomes, kenders, weather changers, magicians, mercenaries, mountebanks, charlatans…
-I find your sayings very strange… but I suppose it must be a reason for all this, although, you might be mistaken.
-Of course I might, my lord. I am just a woman. A poor human woman. You’d better see it for yourself.
A tensed silence floated in the air. Roun’s stylished manners were overturned by the woman’s bitter bite of sarcasm. Yet she kept on stirring his curiosity…
-Will you tell me your name, lady?
-Lamar… And there’s no need to call me lady. Although it sounds so fascinating with Northern Elvish accent. Sometimes I wish I was one, just get amused by the sound of it… Lady Lamar…
The woman started to laugh. There was something powerful and rough in her attitude that let Roun know he’d better not treat her with any kind of condescendence.
-I come from the Middle Lands. But that I guess you already knew, since I’m human. I grew up in Fasta-Lari, but I traveled a lot. Still, I never got into true Elven lands.
-Elves are suspicious with other races. Yet you would be greeted with respect if you choose to travel in our lands.
-If I was allowed… You know, you have strict conditions under which a stranger may pass your boarder.
-But you are here now, aren’t you?
-Yes… Then again, like it or not, Palinesti is not quite Elven. Nobody asks too many questions in here.
Roun didn’t like the irony in her voice nor the bitter disregard she showed for his people. Yet he thought of Dul’Aran, the savage place of his childhood that was only by name considered to be Elven territory.
-She might be right… He thought to himself.
The night was still young. They had another three or four hours of fast riding until they could enjoy the hospitality of the inn. But Roun was enjoying another thing: the intriguing company of the red haired woman. She seemed to be very young, yet her voice was strong and stern, with deep, velvet inflexions. Roun liked to listen to her voice as it flew gently, like the dark waters of the Daji River.
She spoke about a life of adventure and change, about races Roun found strange and incomprehensible, yet, in her stories, they all seemed fascinating.
-And I caught his axe… You should have seen his face! He didn’t see it coming… You, men… You always underestimate women. That was his last mistake!
-You killed him?
-Him? No… He was so shocked to see his own blade resting on his throat he forgot he was sitting on the edge of the gulf. He just stepped back a little too much!
-Lamar, I don’t understand… You seem to have a certain experience in battle. Why were you afraid to travel alone, here, in Palinesti? It might not be as civilized as the rest of the Elven domain; still I believe it is a better place than those you’ve scoured through.
-You know not what you’re talking about, Roun. Still, it was not fear that pushed me towards you. I like efficiency. I do not kill for pleasure, like other mercenaries. In fact, violence disgusts me. And making conversation with strangers may be more than an invitation to a robbery or at least a good fight. And I have neither the time nor the mood for this kind of fun.
On the other hand, you are an interesting man, Roun. A bit too sober and haughty for my taste… but…Hey, maybe you’re shy! Are you shy, Roun?
-I don’t think so, Lamar. Yet I respect the differences between our worlds and understand them. I believe humans have a quicker manner of getting close to each other. We are used to be more solitary and control our reactions…
-Oh, you are so shy…and deliciously solemn! Ha ha! Maybe it’s a racial character… Added Lamar with a crooked smile on her lips.
Roun looked at her, not being sure whether the girl intended to offend him or not. And he noticed she was beautiful, but in a very not-Elven way. Her eyes were ashy, cold as ice. Yet there was ferocity, an untamed spirit that glittered in her look, like the grin of a savage beast. There was darkness, and passion, and blood in her eyes. Her strong jaw and firm nose spoke to Roun about instinct and independence. There was a lonely wolf that lived untamed in her heart. He understood that woman would never have any master except her own will and also felt he had to fight not to be dominated by her character. And he felt Lamar’s wolf howling in the darkness, awakening his own, calling for the most tempting smell of warm blood.
-Why are you so quiet, my friend? Did I offend you in any way?
-You didn’t… Look, Lamar, we’re nearly there… I can see the lights.
You told me a lot of stories today. Still, you said nothing about yourself. What are you looking for?
-I do not talk about myself. Not with everyone I happen to travel with.
Roun was not expecting that sharp answer. He was surprised by her reticence, especially since he shared with her his reasons, destination and expectations. The silence started to press on his shoulders like a heavy load.
-I meant not to intrude… I was curious about you… and you seemed opened to a friendly chat…
-Yeah, I do that sometimes… Listen carefully, young Elf. We are not friends. We just traveled together. And I appreciated your company… your vanity I appreciated less, but I guess I had to deal with it.
Let’s get inside. I’m freezing here.
The night grew kindly over the two travelers. The inn was hold by Tirthanas, a Silver Elf that tried to make from his place a small piece of Elven paradise. Beds were comfortable and sheets were soft and clean. And of course, Lamar, like nothing happened, asked Roun to join her for a glass of golden wine. Although confused a bit by her moody attitude, Roun accepted and soon they were laughing and chatting like old pals.
The tender light and the friendly buzzing of mixed voices warmed their hearts even better than the glasses of wine. Lamar’s look ceased to show that devious glitter and her features grew softer, lighter as the golden liquor heated her blood.
-So you’re going to Saligredan… in search of knowledge… It’s a good place to learn things. And I’m not referring only to magic.
-Maybe it’s not only magic I’m after…
-What are you after, Roun?
-I have others answers to find… How about you?
-Me, my friend? What could be after a poor human woman? I have no noble blood, no high ambitions, and, of course… not another three hundred years in front of me to perfect my arts, as you have… so… I guess my life goes with my sword. I go wherever the winds of fortune blow.
-And where does this wind of yours blow now?
-It’s blowing south… South… she whispered in a mysterious voice.
As the two companions were enjoying their conversation, four hooded silhouettes appeared at the Purple Rose’s door. They asked for food and wine and sat at a secluded table, covered in shadows, near the huge fireplace.
They talked rarely and bellow their breath, whispering words in a strange language that reminded of a bird’s cry.
Although neither she nor Roun could hear their meager conversation, Lamar pricked up her ears and sharpened her attention. A gloomy expression wandered for an instant across her face.
-What happened? asked Roun, noticing her sudden change.
-Nothing, my friend. Just some old memories… Tell me, young mages, such as you, are they of any good in battle?
-I might be young… but I’m a skilled white robe.
-Of course, you are… That’s why you are going to Saligredan. To find some disciples and teach them real magic!
-Your irony is most inappropriate. I passed my last test and I might add it wasn’t easy. In fact, it was the most deceiving experience in my life…
-Oh, in your whole life… I see… That you spent where? In beautiful shiny Qualinesti?
-All human women have such a sharp tongue as you do?
-No, only the ones who know how to use a sword. But, don’t let my humble talents interfere with your story. You were telling me about your combat skills.
-I am good in combat. I have defeated a dark Elf… and he was much more experienced. Look, I don’t like to talk about these things.
-You don’t, do you? Tell me, did you ever kill a man?
Roun’s face ran white. He killed the dark Elf. He did it with some sort of sick, rabid pleasure, that he couldn’t control… and although he found out it was nothing more than a magic illusion, he knew his doing was still a sacrilege.
-I thought so… continued Lamar with a victory smile on her face. You, Elves, have a thing against dying. You know why? You just live too long… You’ve got too much time to think…
Well, perhaps one day I’ll see a nice glittering combat spell with your signature on it.
-I really hope you won’t… And I’m not wasting magic for funny demonstrations.
-What if I was attacked? Would you defend me, young mage?
-What happened to your sword?
-Oh, smart answer for an Elf.
-I’m a quick learner.
-Would you defend me?
-Yes… I would do my best to keep you safe.
-So, after all, I might get my little demonstration…

Memento Vihta! ... si Marooned...

Ce tarziu e... atat de tarziu! Si totusi toamna de abia a inceput, cu zile aramii si scurte, usor amarui, usor stranii...

Am impartit cu tine o cup-a tristetii
in noaptea aceea
o toamna blanda parea sa se nasca.
Aveam fructe trecute in inima
cu seva lor dulce mustind
in sangele meu.
Tu erai trist cu durerea aceea
de inceput de lume...
Eu sorbeam cu nesat vazduhul
in care te-nvarteai ca un gand lovit
si ma legam de tine cu lanturi nevazute,
cu toate cuvintele pe care
inca niciodata nu ti le-am spus.
Intre noi zbura Vihta, de la unul
la altul
cosand tristetea in cupa ei,
cosand inima mea de inima ta,
intunericul meu de bezna din tine...

Memento Vihta!

Chapter IV - More confusion, dear Lemalian...

-You are afraid, my dear Lemalian, and you are right to be. Just for your general knowledge, I could kill you with a breath. But I won't... you gave me no reason yet. So pay attention to my words and stop looking for ways to escape. There's none. And after I am finished with you, I'll set you free. You'll be able to do what you please... After all, this world is more yours than it is mine.
-I am listening.
-That's better. I know you've been to the Thas'thali meetings. Now tell me, what was their decision?
-I don't think you ought to know that...
-You don't, do you? I am really tempted to teach you some respect, but I'm afraid I will not have a dialog partner any more... Listen, Lemalian, I find stupid both your resistance and your defying attitude. You should have learned by now you stand no chance in front of me. And ... I know about their decision, of course I know... I was just making small talk with you to detente the atmosphere... They chose to let them pass. Elves... always acting cowardly when war comes to the gates.
-We are not cowards! We want to protect our own kind... what you call cowardice is in fact wisdom and respect for life!
-Oh, here some big words coming... You must be a fool or a dreamer. I actually prefer dreamers, they're more funny. So you consider wise to let the humans enter the forbidden lands and do what Turturi tried to accomplish a long time ago... to open Rubshi's door to the Abyss... and unleash all evil in your world... Yes, put this way, it actually sounds clever... How many Lunthosz brainstormed in there to come to this bright idea? Seven? Yes, the wise Elves have done it again...
-Turturi is only a legend... Did you expect to allow death and misery to enter our lands just for the sake of some old fairytale?
-A legend, you say... Turturi is as much of a legend as I am... She's more real than you and your Thas'thali... and she will do much evil if she's given the chance. She still haunts the forbidden lands with her army a spirits... there's evil and hatred and lust for revenge that your mind couldn't even conceive... They'd kill every life they encounter to ease the pain of death they're carrying with them for centuries... They have no weakness, no emotion except the drive for death... Darkness emptied their minds, their will... They have no other desire than to destroy, since for them, there is no redemption. Perhaps this is your only chance: that Turturi would kill the human armies before they even know it. And that's what's mostly to happen unless...
-Unless they're after the same thing...
-Well, I knew you were a dreamer, not a fool... Exactly! If Turturi figures out she could use the mindless and conceited humans in her benefit, she'll keep them alive. And with her help, they would be able to open the door... Turturi would unite with her goddess, Rubshi, and the world would taste the chaos and the sorrow... But I bet your council didn't think at that, did they?
-I will speak in the next meeting. I'll make them change their minds... At least I'll try...
-Oh, Lemalian, my dreamer... Admit it... There are few chances you'll succeed in this task. But we have to try this too. It would be much simpler.
-But what else can we do about it?
-Oh, there are some other options... Where is the spirit of the warrior? Did one political meeting choke it? Are you so easy to defeat?
If they won't cooperate, and I believe they won't... We'll just have to destroy the door ourselves...
-Like in going to the forbidden lands, fighting Turturi and her army, finding mysterious door to the Abyss nobody ever saw and... destroying it?
-Yeah, something like that... and I like your sarcasm. There are people who could help you... You'll have to start looking for Wuu...
-Who's this Wuu?
-This Wuu is the Master of wings and fire bows. He was born from a lightning and he comes from the beginnings... He is a spirit of the war, but not the creature of Rubshi... You'll have to get him to help you. And there's another man, the one who also helped your brother...
-What do you know about Liv? He helped him to his death?!
-Easy now... He didn't kill your brother...somebody else did...
-You know who did it?
-This, Lemalian, is a long story and our time is growing short. Gru-Kwan lives in human territories, in the Middle Lands. Last time I heard from him he was lounging around Dardas... Yet I doubt he's still there, he's a nomad and a mercenary.
-I have to trust someone who trades death for money?
-You have to put your trust in no one. Not even in yourself. But use who you need to get to your purpose. And you need Gru-Kwan, believe my words!
-And even so, how do you propose to get into the forests and not to get killed instantly?
-Everything at its time... For now, we have to keep on hoping... That your unskilled oratory will change the mind of seven stiffed and traditionalist Elven Lunthosz...
-Indeed... but... why didn't you speak to somebody else, then? To somebody more influent, more experienced?
-I speak to who I please, young warrior! Now go! And let Demius guard your steps into the light...

The heavy darkness started to fade as the two golden eyes disappeared in the night. Lemalian continued to stare in the foliage, at the place where the mysterious creature faded. He's mind was full of unanswered questions and confusion. He even wondered if that all wasn't nothing more than a dream, a creation of his tired mind. But the pain he did still bear in all his body reminded him it was all for real. The old footpath was now visible in front of him, but he had no drive to go home. He felt knotty and helpless...
“Roun, he thought, Roun would have understood all of this... He's so fond of mysteries and dillemas. He would have made some sense out of all this... He would have known what to do next...”

And far away, in Qualinesti, Roun was keeping Astara's hand into his own, telling her things she'd rather not hear...
-You took it, didn't you, she asked. Otherwise you wouldn't be standing here, with me, that self content smile on your face. You would be gone to one of your secret places to muffle the wounds of your vanity.
-I did take it... But I'm not very proud of myself, you know... I made mistakes I shouldn't have made. But I am a magic user now... A White robed magic user!
-A magic looser, if you asked me...
-Astara, I have to go...
-What, you have a bed-time hour?
-I have to leave Qualinesti...
-Hm... I was afraid you'd say that. Where do you want to go now? You drained out all the fountains of knowledge in here and you're still thirsty?
-You know I am... Tartas said he has no more to teach me. If I stay... I would resign to mediocrity.
-Now you're calling Tartas a mediocre? You're more vain than I thought...
-No... He's not. Yet, I must know more... I fill the time passing through my veins... and I seem to stare of it and do nothing... I have to do something... to complete myself, my magic...
-We all have to fight time to conquer our destinies... yet there is more to life than magic.
-I know... but... you haven't seen what I was able to do. I have to let it grow, I have to master it.
-You're delirious... You have everything here. But you're still chasing shadows.
-My magic is not a shadow.
-Your magic is my worst enemy...
-Why is that, Astara? You've always been like this towards magic... why?
-Because, my dear Roun... No, forget it... Where do you intend to go?
-Saligredan, in the Middle Lands.
-Human territories! Are you out of your mind??!! Your parents... do they know?
-Not yet. I came to speak to you first. I hoped... you might understand.
-You're going to live among humans... far away from our homelands... there are devious things happening there, humans are devious creatures... they don't like us, they fear us...
-...
-But I do understand.
-Thank you Astara, my dear friend.
-Don't thank me... at least... don't thank me... She softly stepped away from him, her dark hair flowing in the wind.
-Speak to your parents. It's gonna be way more difficult to make them understand. When are you living?
-Tomorrow, I guess...
-Typically you...couldn't wait one more day... So be it... travel well my friend...

Roun left the garden with a strange feeling. He expected something else from Astara. He expected invectives, screams, frets, fury explosions... and, after all these went flat, he really expected a friendly warm smile and a hug. Instead he had to bear Astara's sadness, the feeling that he has disappointed her, that he hurt her somehow. And he was sad.
The talk he had with his parents, on the other hand, was exactly as he imagined it. They were very discontent of his decision. They even mentioned that if he wouldn't have passed Phyotas. They would never allow his departure. Heavy words were said, but in the end they had to give Roun their blessing.
In the morning, hardly trying to hide her tears, lady Thalida walked him to the gates.
-Travel well, my son...
Astara didn't come.

Chapter III - Dark Mysteries

-So today is your big test, Rounrianthas of Parthanasti?
-Yes, master Tartas... softly said Roun, bowing his head.
-And you feel prepared to take it, don't you?... You are ambitious and skilled...yet... I'd rather not give you my blessing. But this matter, of course, is out of my hands...
You have the heart of a warrior and the sharpness of a politician, you have noble blood and you could easily ascend to a Lunthosz position... you could lead our people and do great things... Yet you choose to walk the slippery ways of magic.
-I might do great things with my magic too, Master...
-Your magic? Magic does not belong to anyone... It hovers like a bird of smoke in the air and whispers in your ear sweet and delusive words... It bites your heart with a fang full of poison and delight. Its bite does not kill but neither can be cured. It does not hurt but slowly devours your soul. It gives you power that will constantly try to take over you, to posses you. And you will fight it till one of you will subdue the other.
-Then so I shall do. And, Master, you know that even if its desire would be upon me, I shall rule over it and it will not defeat me.
-Maybe, or maybe not... Do not defy its power, as it feeds from your own...
Roun, its in your heart that lies the seed of your destruction. It's buried deeply in there and waits for the right time to be awakened. I saw it in you, shining in your eyes while you were casting your spells. Your heart is not for magic. Not for Elven magic. There's a starving wolf hidden in you that traces the smell of power, of the darkness... it's kept silent by your Elven blood... but the other...the other will unleash it...
-I am Rounrianthas, Thosz of Parthanasti. My blood is pure!
-Your blood wears the seal of the night, Roun... But some things are better not to be spoken of... May Demius guard your steps and your words of magic! If you are determined to take the test, so be it!
-I am determined, Master Tartas...
-I was afraid of that answer... yet I was prepared for it... Enter the left door!


Roun woke up early in the morning. He loved to be the first to hear the bitter-sweet song of the awakening forest. The fire quenched but was still steaming. Lem was enjoying his deep morning sleep and didn't hear his friend's delicate moves. Careful not to make any unnecessary noise, Roun raised up and faded into the forest. He was very fond of his morning walks, all by himself, through the tall and rough woods of Dul'Aran that he came to love. They were so different from the ones in Qualinesti. The Elven spirit seemed there to catch in a contaminating embrace the spirit of the nature. Trees were supple and shaped in delicate forms, like sculptures. Ivy-clad trunks raised from the ground heading to the sky like arrows and all land seemed to be tamed, subdued to the spirit of order and perfection.
There was not such a thing in Dul'Aran. At the border of the Elven territories, Dul'Aran seemed to borrow a lot of the ruggedness of Gundharosh, land of the orcs.
Dul'Aran was a dangerous place to live in, and the only reason the two elf kids were free to wander its forests and deep caves was that in Qualinesti, at that time, was even more dangerous. The Rhym, a plague brought by the humans, decimated hundreds of Elves. The terrible disease had no mercy and made no difference of race or noble blood. Many died, even from the leading families and Elven medicine could do nothing to stop it. Those who could send their kids away, in distant lands, some of them even in the other races' territories. And thus, Roun and Lem got to Dul'Aran, the wildest of Elven lands, often pillaged by solitary orcs who found in that savage environment a familiar touch of their natural habitat in Gungharosh.
-I'll fix some elegant breakfast, Roun said to himself as he walked under the heavy foliage. Some gingus fruits would be a delicious alternative to Lem's barbarian wild dove roast.
Gingus fruits were hard to get since ginguses were boarder species with both roots and moving branches that protected furiously the fruits against any attempt of plunder. But Roun knew a spell he wanted to exercise. He hid himself in a more secluded place where he had a good view of the gingus from. He closed his eyes and started to cast the spell. But the words of magic started to melt in his mind with other words, that were not his... words of power and runes he knew he couldn't even pronounce... And fear invaded his thoughts, fighting desperately to tear himself out of the trance.
-Don't fight it... it's useless...subdue...whispered the words, that were not words anymore, nor a voice, but a song of emotions and thoughts mixed together and deliriously shouting in his mind. Roun's will was all focused in one point, to sustain his being in front of the boiling power trying to overcome him. Let go... whispered a fragile thought melting like a wave in the tempest. Let go... whispered another one... A sweet feeling softly touched his heart, like the kiss of the wind... Let go... Slip away...
Roun tried to resist it, but the warm embrace of nothingness started to swing him into a sweet surrender.
-Let me blow through your veins the words you never knew... all the magic is yours... you know that... just let it be... let it wave inside you, let it blossom...
-You will not master me...
-Let go... and you will have it all...
-I can't...no... I'm scared...
-Let it slip away through your blood... let it be one with you, your love, your lust, your everything... and it will give you everything...
-I... can't...
The words faded away and his mind seemed to drive away the misty clouds of magic. Yet he wasn't prying the gingus anymore... he was sitting on a cedar branch at the edge of the clearing he and Lem spent the night. Lem was still sleeping. He could see him well from there. And he could see another thing: A tall Elf, wearing dark robes getting closer to him, an orb in his right hand, that he moved following the incantation. Roun knew what that meant. He must have been a renegade, wearing the dark robes of evil magic, exiled from Elven lands for his drive for darkness. Roun knew both him and Lem were in great danger. In those time of chaos and desperation, Elven children from the high families, that were sent away for their protection, could fall victims to the greed of bandits and mercenaries that used to keep them prisoners until they got a redemption. Some of them were brutally killed by their kidnappers. And the Elf was not an ordinary thief. He was a renegade magic user, his heart full of hatred and torn to the darkness.
"He's gonna kill him..." Roun thought. "I must do something..." And with the urge of despair, he tried to get together the words of a spell. He knew few offensive spells, and most of them weak...but... at least he could distract the renegade's attention and wake up his friend.
-Ragnarak vorbur liam ktor! whispered Roun... Ragnarak gurg! A shiny wave slipped through the air hitting the dark robed in his back. The wave broke into a scream that shook the old trees and echoed in the cliffs. The renegade jumped away in pain and turned to look after his opponent. Lem woke up in fear and raised up to his feet. He looked for his bow but he couldn't find him. With a slip of the hand the renegade sent a spell directly in Lem's chest. Lemalian fell down struggling to escape the hold of hundreds of invisible wires. Then he turned to Roun, and started to spell the words of another spell. Roun knew it not, yet somehow he seemed to understand it... like he was hearing again the word of a long forgotten poem. There was no poetry in that incantation, since it raised a spell of the death. Words of magic, strange and alien, started again to play in his mind... words he understood but yet, he never knew...
-Let me fight him, they whispered... Let go... Roun saw the sharp light of the combat spell the renegade casted coming closer and closer. Time seemed to froze in that one second between the last word of incantation and the moment the victims falls down under the crash... And then... the words formed in his head... his lips murmured the words... and the dark Elf's spell broke into dazzling drops of light. He spelled another spell and then another... But the dark Elf was good, parring them away. Yet he could not resist the hurricane of Roun spells... difficult and fast combat spells that were coming from the unknown, growing and blasting in his blood like a voluptuous embrace of power. Roun was one with his magic and felt it growing more and more powerful in his mind... in his heart.
-Stop! shouted Lem. You're killing him!
Roun heard his friend call. But he couldn't stop. He didn't want it to stop.
-He's one of us... You can't kill... the desperate words of Lemalian faded in Roun's mind as he was spelling the words of a killing spell. A dark spell... forbidden...
-Taj devakor! He whispered... and a devious pleasure flooded his heart as the smell of warm blood floods the hawsers of a hungry wolf.
The renegade fell down...dark smoke starting to raise from the body...
Lemalian, freed from the magical bundles, slowly came towards Roun, a bitter look in his eyes.
-He was going to kill us both...whispered Roun, pointing his eyes to the ground.
-He was Elf... he was one of us... We don't kill our own kind...
-I don't know what happened to me... I couldn't stop... I...I have to...
I have to turn myself in...
-And become a renegade too? Not this time...
-I killed one of us...
-The wolf did, not you.
Roun quivered and raised his eyes. Lemalian's green, sad eyes started to become ashy.
-The wolf did it this time... and Lem's face started to change its appearance, getting old, transforming in the oblong face of Tartas, while the savage forest of Dul'Aran was fading in the background. His own appearance started to change, his childish features transforming in ones of an adult.
-Master Tartas! So, I failed you...
-You failed me when you refused to listen to my advice and give up magic.
Yet, you've passed the test.
-But I killed him.
-And he didn't succeed in killing you.
-But the spells were not mine. I know not those combat spells. And the last one...
-You were given access to the same knowledge he mastered. And you were better. You'll keep that knowledge as you'll keep the touch of death in your heart. Remember Roun, although it was all an illusion, the wolf asked for his kill and you gave it to him. It is the wolf you'll have to learn to master. Otherwise, your magic will own you and will devour your soul.
Now go, you know all that I know... there is no more I can teach you.


Roun was not in the excellent mood he expected to be after passing the test. He wasn't an apprentice anymore, but a White robe magic user. And he was young... maybe too young. There were few to pass the test at his age and most of them were human. Yet, he made it! But at what cost... He knew what he had to do next. He had to move to human lands in the misty Saligredan, a place of woods and vast, smooth, silent lakes where there was more magic than in all Elven territories. Saligredan was a place of meeting for wizards in all Atri. Magic was everywhere around and great masters were sometimes willing to teach the secrets of their art. It was there that Roun could improve his skills. But there also were some inconveniences he had to take into consideration. First, his family would be most discontent with his decision. He was going among humans, with no reason to force him to, only to grow into some bizarre occupation they already considered dubious and inappropriate for an Elven Thosz. And then, there was Astara. She understood his drive and motivations, but still wouldn't like to see him gone for gods knew how much time. He had to ponder his words and well choose his arguments. But he was determined to leave with or without his family's blessing.
-Good evening, master Roun! the servant greeted him. I hope you had a day of blessing and serenity!
-Not quite, Drudian, not quite...
-Then perhaps some cardoa flower tea would do you well...
-It actually would, but a little later. Is my father home?
-Yes, both him and lady Thalida are in the upper rooms, doing their meditations.
-Well, I won't disturb them, then. How about Astara, did she come here today?
-She did, master Roun. She's in the gardens right now, she got out for a walk.
-Thank you, Drudian, said Roun heading towards the gardens and getting prepared for what it thought to be the easiest of the confrontations he still had to face that day.